From Victory to Defeat... it's crushing.

Yesterday's post was so fun. I lost weight over Halloween night, what's up with THAT?

Do you want to know how twisted my mind works though?... When I weighed yesterday morning, I did lose weight, but my overall weight loss since Monday was only 0.5 pounds. That's Monday morning to Friday morning with no cheating, not going over on my calories and even having walked a day with my friend... total loss 0.5lbs. That was discouraging to me. So, I went from the high of having lost over Halloween, to an out of control day.

I did not get my thoughts under control, and I did not do the things that I knew would help me have more success in my day (like filling up with something healthy so the boys' candy wouldn't look so good etc). They kept bringing me pieces of candy to open for them, and I did... and then Matthew brought me a piece with his big brown eyes and asked me to share it with him, and it begun. I didn't go as out of control as I could have gone... by far, but I did eat some candy with them.  Then, later in the day when we warmed up some Eggo's... I indulged there too (no butter and syrup, but still, it was not in my plan and I had NO willpower).

This morning I laid in my bed thinking. Not really wanting to get up because then I'd have to start the day of choices. My thought process went to "That's why I like fad diets so much."... I like them because you get to see big losses in what feels like not a ton of effort or time. This whole "doing it healthy" and watching what I eat/walking as I can etc takes so much longer and it's just not fun.  I know it's best for me in the long run.

So, now... I've had my first out of control day and I'm up about a pound for it. So, that means I have lost nothing for this week so far. NOTHING. ouch.

Today is a new day, and if I do my best today and tomorrow... I might, just might see a little bit of a loss for this week by Monday morning. I don't really want to hear, "It's not about the scale, it's about your overall health" and those types of comments... My mental health needs to see the scale go down! LOL

I told you, in my very first post, that I'm scared of failing. I'm scared of letting myself down... and yesterday, that is exactly what I did. It's a day though, and I know I can move on from that. I guess I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed and under-excited about it all.

Just keepin it real. :) If I only told you about my happy fluffy feelings...this blog wouldn't help anyone. ;)